I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
