so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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