The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
