i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
