Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
