I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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