im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
