Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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