my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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