I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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