I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
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You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize