So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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