I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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