apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
