She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
