is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
