He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
