exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
