apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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