if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
