my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
