im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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