id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
