I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
