she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
