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She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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