How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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