is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
