I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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