Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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