Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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