God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
