Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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