There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
