That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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