I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
