I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
