I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
