She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize