Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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