oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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