It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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