dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing