Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool

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(757): View more from Virginia

So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof

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(903): View more from Texas

Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

(903): View more from Texas

sorry, worng number

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(941): View more from Florida

my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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(314): View more from Missouri

He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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(253): View more from Washington

Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now

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(757): View more from Virginia

It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier

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