no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.