; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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