Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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