bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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