how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
