and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
