he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Even my vagina gasped.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
