umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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