Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
