She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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