Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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