Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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