id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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