I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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