If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
