I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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