About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
